Post-volcano adventures

We made it back alive, and went straight to Centre St. Vincent, the hostel run by nuns, who laughed at our condition on arrival (we must have been a sight) and took really good care of us. Then I decided that I really needed a hot shower, so on Thursday I went to the beach to a nice hotel with a real bed and hot water and spent two days recuperating and sifting through my summer experience. Today I tried to make it to Uganda, but halfway there on the bus my digestive system rebelled and I had to get off at the nearest town to stay the night. Luckily, that town is Ruhengeri, and I'm back at St. Vincent's with the nuns.

In all the time I have had to think and write, I have come to some conclusions about life and my trip in Rwanda. Things like this always seem trite, but I'll try my best...

The most important things are ones we tend to ignore because they're right in front of us: time with family, shared daily activities like making dinner, a beautiful sunset, the chance to share a laugh ith a stranger.

No matter how busy and stressful life is, there is always time to say hello.

People who drop by uninvited and unannounced are not just friends; they become family. They should be seen as blessings, not annoyances.

Keeping relationships informal creates friends wherever you go. Paying with food or an exchange of services forges a bond that money can't touch.

Sometimes there are things competely out of your control: rainy season, public taxis, etc. Not stressing about them and focusing only on what you can control makes you much more effective at accomplishing things.

People generally pull through; trusting them will get you better results than doubting them will.

People are generally good. Acting on this shouldn't mean being naive or stupid; but fearing everyone cuts you out of some amazing relationships and experiences.

Do not pity poverty. People don't want your pity, or if they do it is only because they have figured out the most effective way of exploiting white guilt. What they want is exposure to the things you have access to, and some help getting their hands on the tools that have not been available to them. The rest they are capable of doing, and pitying them is limiting.

Do not idealize their traditional ways of life. Tradition can be stifling. Some aspects of it are beautiful, but coupled with those things are poverty, disease, oppression, repression, ignorance, and anger. This is not to say we should attempt to change their culture either, but to see their lives as idyllic is far too simplistic.

There is a fine line between respecting the culture tht you are a guest in and denying the person you are and your own culture. Sometimes modificatiopns in behavior and small lies of omission help things go more smoothly. But if people welcome you into their homes and their lives, it is because they, too, are curious about another way of life. Be honest with them, because they already love you, and it's not like they don't know that things are different where you come from. That's why they asked. Explain why you believe what you do, but also don't expect to change their minds on the spot. If there is something that you're going to try to convince them of (like the importance of gender equality) make sure you choose your timing and audience carefully. Make sure, as well, that you are in the right mood and frame of mind.

Always dress nicely and shine your shoes. It counts.